"I'm too (insert excuse here) to Pole Dance."
No matter if you have been taking pole classes for 2 weeks or 20 years at some point when you tell a person that you pole dance you will eventually hear this kind of response:
"That's really hard, I could never do that because (insert excuse here)!"
Excuses will run the gamut.
Weight. Age. Uncoordinated. Weakness. Unflexible. Not Sexy.
You name it, I have heard it. I used to try and explain to people that their reasoning was unfounded. I would say, "That's not true at all! You can totally pole dance even though (insert excuse here)." I would spend so much time trying to explain to them what pole dance really like, not what they thought it was like. Sadly, this was a waste of my time and breath. Now I just let people say what they want to say and let them believe what they want to believe. It is not my responsibility to point out to a person that they are fundamentally lying to themselves.
On the other hand, if someone asks me, "Do you think I could pole dance despite my (insert excuse here)?", this is a different conversation and one that I may actually engage in. This person is not lying to themselves. They have not fully agreed to the excuse. They are curious and curiosity can lead to very cool things. To this person I will ask an odd question:
"I am not sure, do you have Desire, Moxie and Acceptance?"
Desire
a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen
To do just about anything you must have a desire to want to do it. There has to be something that attracts you to the activity. Without a spark there will be no fire.
> How bad do you want to try Pole Dance?
> If you don't try this, do you think you will regret it?
> Have you been thinking about this for a long time and just can't stop?
Moxie
force of character, determination, or nerve
I love this word so much - it simply resonates with me. If you pole dance for any length of time you get this word and understand why it is a necessary trait to continue pole dance.
> Do you have the character to push yourself?
> Do you have the nerve to not care what other people think about you?
> Are you able to endure pain to obtain what you desire?
Acceptance
the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable
This one is huge, truthfully, this one is probably the most important because it means you have to set your ego aside and accept your limits. It means you need to allow for introspection and be honest with yourself about how much you are actually capable of - and acknowledge it.
> Can you accept that pole isn't easy?
> Can you accept that you may not be able to do everything?
> Can you accept your limitations and be okay with them?
> Are you able to set aside your expectations of what you think Pole Dance is and be open to a different idea you didn't know existed?
Truth > Excuse
This line of questioning has proven far more worthwhile for me than trying to explain why a persons excuse is garbage. For starters, people don't like to be told that they are liars and also people like answering questions about themselves. So instead of me lecturing why Pole Dance is totally accessible, I now allow that person to make the decision if Pole Dance is something they can do based on their personal knowledge of their own character.
What's your Excuse?
If you want to try Pole Dance, try it! Life is too short to not try a thing because you have convinced yourself that you can't. It may not be for you, and that is okay, at least you can say you gave it a go!
Scarlet Studio offers a Pole Teaser Class for those who are curious but unsure if Pole Dance is for them. Click HERE to learn more about The Pole Teaser!